Incomplete
by wara ningyo
Summary: There's no use regretting over the things you have let go. Hotohori will never get the second chance to tell Nuriko how much he completes him. Just a heartbreaking story about Nuriko and Hotohori.


Title: **Incomplete**

Disclaimer 1: Fushigi Yugi belonged to Watase Yuu. I only borrowed the characters for this heartbreaking fic ^^

Disclaimer 2: I borrowed the chorus from BSB's Incomplete. It actually had nothing to do with me. I only used it coz it went well with the fic ^^v

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Nuriko leaned on the wooden railing of the hut in the garden as he looked far away on the other side of the pond. Just a few moments ago he witnessed Hotohori's jealousy of Tamahome and Miaka's affection toward each other. He stood outside the room only to have his fragile heart shattered to pieces when he listened to Hotohori's words about giving up all of his fortune and status if that what it takes to be with Miaka. The emperor was outraged that Miaka chose Tamahome's over him but the one who hurt the most was the violet haired fellow.

He wondered if he would have been a woman will the emperor ever looked at him the way he looked at the Suzaku no Miko. "Who am I kidding?" He laughed at the thought. "Even if I weren't a cross dressing freak he only have Miaka in his mind." He mumbled to himself.

Nuriko took out a nicely carved comb from inside his sleeve. It was the only 'girly' item he carried with him after he shed all the dresses in his wardrobe for men's clothes. He loosened his plait and gently ran though his hair with the comb. His hair fell onto his back almost covering the upper half of his body. The seishi grabbed a lock of his hair then took the wooden comb and slid it through the end.

It was Hotohori who gave him the comb, back when he first entered the harem. The emperor gave him a welcoming visit the time he was sent there and brought him a few gifts. The comb was one of them. The emperor left only after a few words then never came back except to welcome new girls who made a place in the harem. He wouldn't have any idea how lonely Nuriko felt and he didn't even remembered the fellow seishi when they finally met again.

"May I join you?" a familiar voice brought Nuriko back from his flashbacks. He turned around to see the young emperor standing a few feet behind him. Nuriko could tell that he was still devastated by the incident before.

The shorter teen welcomed him with a smile. "Of course you can Hotohori-sama. Besides, this is your palace." He tried to lighten up the mood.

"What are you doing here by yourself?" the emperor took a stand beside the violet haired beauty without making any eye contact.

"I had my reasons." He said in short. "What about you Hotohori-sama. What's an emperor doing wandering around in his palace late at night?" he returned the question.

"I had my reasons too." The emperor replied.

Nuriko smiled. It's not like he didn't know why Hotohori was there. Any man in his situation would want to clear their head after the things that happened. He tried not to pry on the emperor's business anymore so he kept quiet. The slender boy grabbed more of his locks and straightened it out with the comb.

"You have a beautiful hair." Hotohori said out of the blue. Nuriko's combing halted when he heard the praise. A tint of blush colored his cheeks.

"Compared to your silky ones it's nothing." He said, returning back the favor. He didn't just say it to flatter Hotohori, he honestly admired the beauty of the young man beside him. Not only that, he was also in love with the emperor.

Hotohori leaned closer to his fellow seishi. He bent his head a little and inhaled the scent of Nuriko's hair. The smaller seishi felt like his heart was about to explode. Never was Hotohori treated him with such interest. He tried his best to breathe evenly when he realized he had held his breath for a while.

Hotohori took the violet locks into his hands. "Your hair smells nice too."

"Uh…mmm…Miaka gave me this thing called 'shampoo' from her world. It's used to wash hair." Nuriko explained. His words are all over the place as he forced himself to keep composed and calm in front of the emperor. "She also gave me something called 'soap' to wash my body when taking baths." He added.

He had looked into Miaka's bloated backpack that she brought back with her from her world. Miaka gave him a bottle of shampoo and a bar of scented soap as presents. Nuriko had been using them. "It smells really good." He smiled as he brought the back of his hand to his nose and inhaled the remaining scent on his skin. "I'm sure you know how it smelt like since you've held Miaka before."

Hotohori's eyes widened. Nuriko gasped and immediately covered his mouth. He wasn't aware that he had blurted out something inappropriate about the emperor.

"I- I'm sorry Hotohori-sama. I didn't mean to offend you." He lowered his head and stared at the floor. "I'll keep my mouth shut from now on." His hair fell to his sides covering his reddened face.

Hotohori placed his hand on Nuriko's shoulder and petted him softly. "It's alright, you didn't say anything wrong." The emperor got rid of the seishi's guilt. "Maybe I should ask Miaka whether she have any more of this 'shampoo' and 'soap'." Hotohori joked.

"Aww, no fair! If you were to use those things then you wouldn't come closer to smell me anymore!" the violet haired beauty pouted. He then realized what he said and blushed deep red. He turned around to hide his face from the matured teen. "Just kidding!" he turned back laughing nervously at Hotohori.

Hotohori smiled and changed his view to the koi pond. Nuriko cleared his throat and did the same as the emperor. The air around them suddenly filled with silence.

Hotohori knew very well of Nuriko's feelings on him. He knew that Nuriko's affection toward him was not friendship but pure love. Yet he couldn't return those feelings because he was in love with the Suzaku no Miko. No, that's not the only reason. Both he and Nuriko are guys, Hotohori just didn't swing that way.

Nuriko understood why Hotohori was reluctant to accept his love. He knew that the emperor had fallen in love with the Miko since he heard about her during his childhood years. No matter how hard he tried, Nuriko could never surpassed another woman and a Miko on top of that. He just had to be satisfied with an unrequited love and he knew he shouldn't ask for more from the fellow seishi who had shown him nothing but kindness.

"You really… like her didn't you?" Nuriko broke the intense silence.

Hotohori turned to the guy beside him, their eyes stared deeply into each other. Hotohori grasped what Nuriko was talking about. "More than anything." He sighed.

An arrow made of ice stabbed Nuriko's already wounded heart. He knew how Hotohori would answer him yet he went on with the question. "_Miaka no baka_. How could she make an emperor suffer like this." Nuriko tried to hide his agony by joking. "I'll give her a knock on the head when I see her tomorrow." He faked another smile.

"_Arigatou_, Nuriko."

"Don't mention it." He waved his hand at the emperor.

Hotohori had lost again in his thoughts when he felt slim hands wrapped around his waist. He almost jumped when Nuriko embraced him from behind. "Nuriko, what are you doing?!" he said offensively.

"Please don't move Hotohori-sama." Nuriko's voice muffled as his face buried onto the emperor's back. "Just pretend that I'm Miaka." Pain colored his feminine voice. "Just for a short moment, please pretend that I'm the one you love." He pleaded. "Please." Nuriko choked at the word.

Hotohori settled down and let Nuriko be. He couldn't stand hearing the fellow seishi's sorrowful voice as he wrapped his arms around him. The emperor placed his hand on op of Nuriko's that was around his waist. It was the first time he held those soft hands. He wondered how Nuriko managed to lift up everything he couldn't with those fragile looking hands.

"Nuriko, what's wrong?" Hotohori's tone was hinted with surprise when he heard a muffled sob and felt moist on his back through his night robe.

Nuriko released Hotohori from his embrace and wiped his face before the other caught him crying. "There's something in my eyes." He lied even though it was obvious that he had been crying.

"Nuriko…" Hotohori took a step forward to touch the boy's face but Nuriko took a step backward.

"I think I should get some sleep. I need to save my energy so I can give Miaka a good lecture in the morning." He made up an excuse all the while avoiding Hotohori's gaze. He stepped out from under the hut and stopped before he left. "Ne Hotohori-sama, one day you'll find someone who love you and I bet the two of you will definitely look good together." With his final words said, Nuriko ran off before another tear fell from his eyes. Hotohori stood there dumbfounded not knowing whether he should go after him or just let him slipped away.

And that's what he did. He let Nuriko slipped away without even trying to hold him back.

The moment he received the news that the violet haired beauty had passed away, his heart sank into the deepest bottom of regret. Hotohori rushed to Nuriko's room, picked out a dress that he once wore and held it in his arms. He took out a comb from inside his sleeves, Nuriko's comb. The one that the seishi had dropped when he left Hotohori at the hut in the garden. The one the emperor didn't return to before the owner sailed away. The one he had kept with him all the while.

Hotohori held up the wooden comb and kissed it. The scent of Nuriko's hair was still there. Tears sprung from his eyes rolling down his cheek. He remembered Nuriko's last words that night. "I'm so sorry Nuriko." He cried. "Forgive me for not making you the one." His lips shook as he mouthed his apology. "I should've given you the love you deserved."

It was too late for him now, for both of them. Hotohori never get the chance to tell Nuriko that he finally found a space in his heart to love him and Nuriko will never get to hear the three magic words he wanted Hotohori to say.

Hotohori stayed in Nuriko's room the whole night with the dress and the comb held close to his chest. His eyes always passed through the dearly departed when he was still alive, but now no matter how hard he tried to forget him he no longer can. Without Nuriko, Hotohori is incomplete.

_I try to go on like I never knew you_

_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

_But without you all I'm going to be is_

_Incomplete__…_

**-Owari-**

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**A/N: **I watched Fushigi Yugi years ago but only came up with this fic now. I love Nuriko and Hotohori the most among other characters...I decided not to make a happy ending out of it because well, the two of them didnt have a happy ending . so sad... I always cry when I read stories about Nuriko and Hotohori. Oh, and I think the chorus of BSB's Incomplete went well with the ending, hehe. Anyway, if anyone ever stumble upon this fic, plz review ^^v


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